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First, let me get this off my chest...
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh
I'm so glad that people can tell what it is I'm all about by "knowing" me online. Of all the people I've met via LJ, there are a few persons that actually know me...as in have taken the time to understand me.
My life is not here for your approval, and I don't need Ivory Tower judgements to make me feel whole.
If you want to know me. Truly know me, then just ask. Just friggin' ask. Don't e-mail me crap about what you THINK I am. If you don't have the friggin' balls to come to me, then don't e-mail me with your crass and assinine opinions of me.
Here is a newsflash - I fuck up. A lot. In fact I do it about 20 times a day. Ask my kids, especially the twins, I'm always in thought, always in prayer, always holding the moment sacred. Sometimes this can be hard for anyone who is around me. Page one of my Soul's Book at birth said, "No one promised you a rose garden..."
Every since I was a kid my life has been one big ball of weird. Not like the typical domestic weird...like the kid that Hollywood makes movies about...like that kid in Powder. Except that I'm not an albino. (sarcasm)
I keep myself very hidden because my little heart beams with compassion for all things. When I come up with an idea, or challenge humanity, I do it because there is something inside of me that keeps pushing me to the edge. It whispers in my ear, "keep talking...you won't always have to cast your pearls before swine."
There are things that I have seen in my life that would turn your hair white. I've experienced things that FOX puts on the little box for folks to post about in fanwebs. Truly...I'm the Very Freaky Thing that lives in the dark corner of your basement, but I only want you to understand me. Instead I'm feared because I just love. As crazy as that sounds...I love you. I love everything.
In Louisville there is a corner downtown where Merton realized that we are all beings of light and love, and he could hear the song of all things. I've been to that spot...just so I could commune with someone who understands...feel his energy...understand how he lived.
Oh, wait, yeah, he went into hermitage and wrote books about how to live the peaceful life.
Right now I'm so full of...who knows...pure raw emotion.
I hurt...and fear that humanity might just destroy itself. Not with weapons, global warming or things of that nature. Humanity will destroy itself because it forgot how to love, understand and remember that we are all Divine beings.
ETA:In college I used to listen to Ava Maria over and over again until the tears would flow like tidal waves. It was my hope that the tears I cried would evaporate into the ethers and bring solace to those who needed it.
We will destroy ourselves just fine with our own words of hate toward others. Our pointy finger judgemental-ness. Our inability to understand that we all deserve love. Love doesn't pick political sides...it is not concerned about oil...or money...or...
Love just is...and it is waiting for us to understand.
~*~
With that, dear ones, I want you to know that I'm nothing like you think I am, but everything you always are.
I love you.
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggggggggggggggghhhhhhhhh
I'm so glad that people can tell what it is I'm all about by "knowing" me online. Of all the people I've met via LJ, there are a few persons that actually know me...as in have taken the time to understand me.
My life is not here for your approval, and I don't need Ivory Tower judgements to make me feel whole.
If you want to know me. Truly know me, then just ask. Just friggin' ask. Don't e-mail me crap about what you THINK I am. If you don't have the friggin' balls to come to me, then don't e-mail me with your crass and assinine opinions of me.
Here is a newsflash - I fuck up. A lot. In fact I do it about 20 times a day. Ask my kids, especially the twins, I'm always in thought, always in prayer, always holding the moment sacred. Sometimes this can be hard for anyone who is around me. Page one of my Soul's Book at birth said, "No one promised you a rose garden..."
Every since I was a kid my life has been one big ball of weird. Not like the typical domestic weird...like the kid that Hollywood makes movies about...like that kid in Powder. Except that I'm not an albino. (sarcasm)
I keep myself very hidden because my little heart beams with compassion for all things. When I come up with an idea, or challenge humanity, I do it because there is something inside of me that keeps pushing me to the edge. It whispers in my ear, "keep talking...you won't always have to cast your pearls before swine."
There are things that I have seen in my life that would turn your hair white. I've experienced things that FOX puts on the little box for folks to post about in fanwebs. Truly...I'm the Very Freaky Thing that lives in the dark corner of your basement, but I only want you to understand me. Instead I'm feared because I just love. As crazy as that sounds...I love you. I love everything.
In Louisville there is a corner downtown where Merton realized that we are all beings of light and love, and he could hear the song of all things. I've been to that spot...just so I could commune with someone who understands...feel his energy...understand how he lived.
Oh, wait, yeah, he went into hermitage and wrote books about how to live the peaceful life.
Right now I'm so full of...who knows...pure raw emotion.
I hurt...and fear that humanity might just destroy itself. Not with weapons, global warming or things of that nature. Humanity will destroy itself because it forgot how to love, understand and remember that we are all Divine beings.
ETA:In college I used to listen to Ava Maria over and over again until the tears would flow like tidal waves. It was my hope that the tears I cried would evaporate into the ethers and bring solace to those who needed it.
We will destroy ourselves just fine with our own words of hate toward others. Our pointy finger judgemental-ness. Our inability to understand that we all deserve love. Love doesn't pick political sides...it is not concerned about oil...or money...or...
Love just is...and it is waiting for us to understand.
~*~
With that, dear ones, I want you to know that I'm nothing like you think I am, but everything you always are.
I love you.