justkimu: (clean and fresh)
Some may say
I'm wishing my days away, no way
And if it's the price I pay, some say
Tomorrow's another day, you'll stay
I may as well play


Well...here is the long awaited post. I can't really put everything in one place, so I'm going to break it up into other posts.

This journal is where I grew up - became a human - and learned more about who I am than in [livejournal.com profile] kimboburly. The other account was the person I thought I should be.

Now, let me explain better, so that it doesn't get confusing. ;)

For years I was Kimbo, that girl in college who did all those things with all those people. Kimbo did things that she hoped people would like. In fact, she would go to sleep at night with pits in her stomach because she was not being true to her spirit.

About 4-5 years ago, I was Commie Mommie. A writing, hipster-in-the-making mama of two. I lived on an organic farm and waxed poetic about the state of the chimera of our declining world. Just a one-woman dynamo with agenda a'go-go.

Then to being a dharma momma. Phew! My wagon-shakin' tail couldn't take the discipline of staring into my navel for days on end, so I balked and flew back to being something I thought I should be.

But I couldn't be there. Couldn't even sit at the computer and pretend to be that because it hurt too much. It was like an puppet was pulling my strings. I was still Commie Mommie, with a Dharmatic twist. I've evolved. Grown. Moved on.

Suddenly I looked around and realized that I am the woman I always thought I was, and was more of a human being that I could have ever imagined.

In this process of being full of answers, I was also diagnosed with an auto-immune disease. While that sounds dramatic, it is only an issue dealing with foods my body abhors. For someone who had used food as a therapist, this brought my world to a crashing halt.

As I adapted my life to this change, I began to see more clearly. So much so, that I couldn't miss the $8,200 in debt we, uh, gathered, to repair our home, take care of things for the kids, and start my business.

Oh, yeah. That. Good idea. Great one in fact. All the internet loved it. Once again I'd earned 15 minutes of Intarwebz fame. Whee. Go me. In that process I came to loathe writing. Loathe. It. I couldn't type a damn thing. The Most Serious Writer's Block Evar!

Then the kids went nuts because I was in the office all the time forcing myself to write about something I couldn't find the words for anymore. I'd found a truth inside myself that meant more to me than proving I could write.

But that is just something to raise your awareness of the C'est la vie of Kim. Kim. That's me. Just Kim. And ya ain't seen nothing, yet.

=)

Loads of love to each of you. Next post will be about how much it costs to be online, and how in the hell we ended up in the most debt of our lives (and how we are dealing with it).

*joy and answers for all of you*
I leave you with a video (and song) that has helped me grow as a person. ;)
Everyday I work to be more and more like the young blond drummer boy leading everyone to their joy.

November 2012

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